aaand a new obsession begins, or How I Lost My Entire Weekend
I caved. I finally read Twilight. All the way through. (for those of you who have been here a while, I attempted to do so back in… February? March? but couldn’t finish because it was mind-numbingly awful of my many social obligations.)
However. A new day breaks, and a new obsession begins.
(Except when I say “obsession,” I mean, you know, a mild sort of amused interest.)
I bring you a new word, guys. ”Lolfan,” defined as those who have read Twilight, understand the insane compulsion to somehow finish the books no matter how bad they get, and can still function in society without beginning a desperate search for “their Edward.” (or comparing their significant others to the aforementioned fictional character.)
“I pretty much made up this word just now to describe the kind of people (i.e., me) who read these books for the sole purpose of snarking on them and yet cannot stop oh God please send help. Levels of affection for the subject matter may vary; macros and icons are often involved. Twatlighters (see below) are a good example of lolfans.”
These are my people! My long-lost tribe, my band of brothers! (I fear, however, that no one will ever share my strange fascination with quoting obscure sections of Henry V. Thanks, Dad.)
But. I still can’t stand Bella. Sorry. I tried. (but blech.)
If you would like to add joy to your life, regardless of your status on the whole “fan” scale, read Growing Up Cullen, in which Edward is characterized as a 40 year old mother on a bad day due to all the other Cullens’ constant crazy-making and poor angsty Edward is all on his lonesome… scrapbooking and listening to Nickelback cds. Nobody understands him, you guys.
(and oh, the late-to-the-party glee I have: there’s more).
…hours of clicking later…
Oh sweet lord of the rings. What have I stumbled clumsily across?
He had reddish, blonde-brown hair that was groomed heterosexually. He looked older than the other boys in the room — maybe not as old as God or my father, but certainly a viable replacement. Imagine if you took every woman’s idea of a hot guy and averaged it out into one man. This was that man.
Nightlight, a Twilight parody.
There goes my entire November. See you guys on the other side.
oh. and yes, I’m going to see Jacob’s abs that movie. but only because my boyfriend’s sister is dragging both of us!
