green-eyed monster
She came with us on a couples outing, and I realized almost instantly that I do not like her. I tend to judge people instantly, harshly, and hold them to that, which is my flaw. I admit it, freely. I need to stop being so rigid.
But it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m usually right. ”I can tell instantly about people. It’s a gift.”
When I walked into the room, I heard her saying that she thought we had broken up. She could not have sounded happier about this mistake. BFF was there, laughing at her and the look on my face. The BF looked confused and uncomfortable. I wanted to slam the door in her face, but settled for handing the child to him and being mildly possessive.
Now it’s the little things that make my ears burn and fingers itch to accidentally get caught in her hair… and pull.
She’ll come over whenever possible, “to hang out with the group”… then stay until all the others have left, just watching us. (Who sits on a couch and watches a couple make out?? Can we say ‘creeper’?)
I’m still not worried about him ever cheating on me.
I just have to worry about keeping myself from physical violence.
The boyfriend laughs at me. He thinks it’s sexy that I feel possessive of him.
Then he saw a couple texts on my phone from flirty boys and the shoe was on the other foot.
(Ha.)
It’s funny; I’ve never felt this open in a relationship. I don’t mind that he’s aware that there are guys who would do anything for me. I don’t care that he knows (and remembers by name) that there are three or four who still text me wanting to ‘meet up.’ (“Come on, baby, he doesn’t have to know.”) The first time someone hit on me in his presence was an interesting experience. (We were in a bookstore and he was looking at books one row down, so we weren’t being all couple-y. and the poor guy I had to shoot down was really very creative and sweet.) Instead of being jealous and possessive, he had the biggest grin for the next hour. When I asked him about it, he only said, “Damn straight he thinks you’re pretty and wants your number.”
I think it’s good for our egos, in a strange way. It’s good for us to know that there are other people who want to be with us (and with our significant others), and it helps us reaffirm the relationship by being open about it. I’m not going to lie, I do get slightly more PDA-prone when I know she’s around (and watching…. *shudder*).
I do not, however, enjoy the feeling that she’s keeping tabs on ‘us.’ When I was at his alumni game, I heard her saying in an undertone “That’s his girlfriend,” and other voices saying, “Really?” It helped, though, that he dragged over several guys and proudly introduced me as “This is my girlfriend,” leaving me to supply my name. He loves to introduce me to people like that; relationship label out in front. He’s told me that he can’t wait to introduce me as his wife.
It’s interesting, though, because I don’t refer to him as my boyfriend to other people. I give his name, and assume that they’ll connect the dots, because usually his arm is around me or he’s doing some ridiculously cute boyfriend thing. The other day, the BFF and I were making plans, and instead of saying his name, she said something about “your boyfriend,” and I couldn’t stop smiling.
Life is strange.
We’re still in the honeymoon phase. I wonder how long it’ll last.
